Expecting A Lot

It has been more than a year and a half since Justin killed himself and I am still having dreams about it. Last night's was one of the worst ones but I feel like I have had it before now that I think about it. Justin was visiting me and I knew he was going to kill himself. I was trying and saying everything in my power to stop him and convince him otherwise but he was not having it. It was like a rational decision and he was trying to get me off of him. Do you ever wake up from a bad dream, try to get your bearings and distinguish what is real and what else was a dream? Reassure yourself that whatever bad thing happened in your nightmare is far from reality? I woke up to a reality that was worse than my dream. What's worse is I can only think of his wife after these dreams. She was with him when it happened. It takes true strength to carry on after that kind of trauma. I only hope I can borrow that strength at my lowest points.

Tomorrow, there will not be an entry since I will be down in Prince Frederick with my parents and in-laws to celebrate Labor Day. Dad asked me not to bring the dogs because my aunt is scared Khaleesi will scare the cats away forever. I did not argue but I felt bad leaving them with my in-laws, then I learned that my in-laws are coming to the party. That is awesome but I wish I had known that before. My parents suck at making plans. Eric had not heard about the cookout so he is not going. Mikey has some items to give our niece and we do not know if she is going to be there. We can always leave them with my parents. Part of me wants to get my rose tattoo transferred while I am down there. We will see what the weekend holds but I do not think Red Octopus is open on Sundays anyway.

So I guess I will leave my readers with a couple items of good news: My brother got a new job that pays well and although where he is there is no room for growth, he is getting experience in a good field. Second of all, and biggest of all, my cousin Becky is 13 weeks pregnant. It sunk in a few weeks ago because early pregnancies can be very touch and go. I am excited to hear about the sex as soon as possible so I can buy some baby stuff.